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7/29/2008 Another pay off
明天是周三,但是我不去dancing class了,只是因为我还没做完EP。。。
今天中午lunch time,我去海边跑步了...
我不知道还有多少事情要因为这个学习要改变。。。 我再说:选择了,决定了,哪怕没有结果,也要坚持到终点。 虽然这次有点难过,无奈。。。
把幸福的片段刻在石头上,把痛苦的记忆写在沙子上。
人生没有彩排 7/28/2008 泪很多电影中都有各种的泪的场面 在看见萤幕中的泪水的那一刹那 我想需要很久才能忘记这个瞬间 很特别的感受,会久久无法平静 萤幕中的故事,顿时拉紧的距离 有眼泪的人,让人感觉真挚可信 大多数的时候都笑笑的,开心的 可微笑的背后也有时候会藏着疼 这种情节,我喜欢哭出来的洒脱 泪水就会更让人觉得珍贵可爱了 哭,有时候是微妙而冲动的感情 在某些时候更会让人感动,留恋 泪水是生命赐予我们宝贵的礼物 停留在这一个感觉,细细的体会 7/27/2008 27日27日,一个特殊的日子。
人之初,性本善
生命是美好的
让本来平淡的一天,赋予美妙的感觉,我现在很开心
虽然学习很忙,很累,
我享受痛苦
珍惜我所拥有的
我现在很满足
按照我的小计划
一步步慢慢向目标接近
很快,我会幸福的
也许我的决定或者方向是错的
但尝试过,我至少可以从错误中去学习
去学习了。。。 7/18/2008 墨尔本 中餐馆天山餐厅(新疆菜) 202 Thomas Street,Dandenong 9794 7239
金味府 Iris Buffet Shop 10, 4-14 Walpole St, Kew
永隆茶楼 AD当生活太充实的时候,就会有太大压力,压力爆发时就会有冲动,冲动是魔鬼,但是如果可爱的魔鬼呢?
我和AD在公司吃中饭,欣赏者让人心旷神怡的海景,她说:每个男人都是在那个时候,陪你走那段路的人,真正走完这条路的人,只有你自己。我忽然觉得今天的海很忧郁。。。
去咨询U.S. visa了,鬼子中介说 too long to get H1B visa... better to try new E3 visa... or Visa Waiver Program... .... I need.... 我完全不知所云,一直昏厥ing zzz...
满脑子在想:他说的是英文么?还是... 我就差和他说:can u speak English?... ... 那我估计他会昏厥... ...
还是他把资料的:“税法”,看成:“移民法”。。。真当我是专业的啊?那我还会坐在他那... ...汗... ... 游泳我相信每个人都有导航系统,当你在海里游的很安逸,突然因为什么感到痛,你突然不想游了,看看四周浩瀚的大海,很怕,这时候看到了灯塔,哪怕是虚拟的,只要自己相信那是真的,那是你 目标,那是你的方向,那是你要的,你就会觉得游的不再痛苦,朝着你的灯塔前进!
我理解,灯塔有时候也会闪烁,只要不消失,就不会淹死哈:)
很多东西没有谁胜谁负,如果一定要有,与其百战百胜,不如不战而胜。 No mission, no commissionJ 会有那么一天,我会幸福的一个喜欢彩虹的孩子 指着天空笑着喊彩虹 梦想拥有自己的彩虹
现在我忽然明白我看到的彩虹
“下过雨”才会有 很美 雨停了便会消失 很短 依然是晴空万里
我知道雨后没有彩虹的某天
我还会想起彩虹 很美 在我心里存留着 很久 也许我明白了:
彩虹=幸福 我相信幸福:) 受伤时小时候 “家人”离开的时候 眼睛眯着泪如泉涌 嘴巴嘟着哇哇大哭
长大了 “家人”离开的时候 眼睛无助的眺望远方 嘴角颤抖的挂着微笑 也许 泪水早已掩埋在心底 伤心久久弥漫着呼吸 刺痛的心在无声挣扎 冰冷的心依然在那里 湖面依然平静平静的小湖面上 掉进一块雨花石 湖面荡漾着波纹 久久都不能平静 当湖面恢复平静的时候 雨花石却永远留在湖底 转载转载:
妈妈病了,爸爸照顾着,我很想家,心疼妈妈,无时无刻都牵挂着,每天都会给妈妈打个电话。爸爸怕妈妈怀疑什么,执意不让我回家,也许对妈妈更好。。。
我意外出生在新疆的一个城市,爸爸妈妈来自南北不同的地方,那里民风纯朴,老人们都很长寿,但是因为爸爸妈妈太忙,小时候每个周六都盼望妈妈来看我,而骑自行车从奶奶家到车站几十个来回,小学时候站在椅子上自己煮方便被烫伤的日子现在还历历在目。。。妈妈心疼得眼泪流在我心里。
初中,换了城市,看到了妈妈的生活,但是住在校长家里,就像被关在笼子的鸟,常常盼着自己病了,爸爸妈妈接我回家,总要考出好成绩,只是为了爸爸妈妈能一起到我去水上乐园。。。妈妈欣慰的眼神是我最大的开心。
初二,第一次去了新加坡,那里社会安全,制度严厉,很快喜欢上了这个干净的花园城市。 第二次,上了三个月的高中,又到新加坡,但是一连串的意外,突如其来的伤害,让我不知如何应付,现在还记得第一次打工在富乐登酒店做助理,下班后坐在台阶上,连站起来叫出租车回家的力气都没有了。毕业后原本以为在星达城开始上班就安定了,谁知好景不长,半年后又因为受伤离开。。。妈妈一直每周都会打电话给我,我每年两次回去看妈妈的时,妈妈总会在机场接我,期盼的眼神在人群中找寻女儿的身影,闪烁着激动得泪光;每次在机场离开的时候,女儿转身的霎那间,我和妈妈都会同时泪水决堤。
到了北京,上海,这里的生活花花绿绿,开始很惊喜,很快就迷失了,总某种角度上,我从未融入过这里,因此,不到半年就放弃离开了。我知道妈妈也不喜欢我在这里。
墨尔本是世界上最适合人类居住的地方,这里民风纯朴,人们友好善良,就像我出生的地方,我喜欢这里轻松美丽的阳光,大海,天空,很快拿了pr投入了紧张的工作和学习,安逸的日子很快就过去了,可是我的斗志渐渐磨平了,梦想一点点地被带走,激情也慢慢减少了,剩下的开心是一种表情,不知道是不是真的;剩下的安逸舒适,带着一丝丝讽刺和剥削,看上去的享受没有幸福。
一直以来,都会告诉自己:看不到爸爸妈妈是因为这里离他们太远了,其实我心理知道就算我回到家里,他们也一样忙碌,应酬,有他们自己的生活。爸爸妈妈很爱我,我也一样爱他们,我们用彼此自己的方式相处,也许这一直都是最合适的模式。我会努力做到爸爸所说的:忠贤良德。。。爷爷教导的:百善孝为先!现在,是对妈妈重要的日子,真的很抱歉,我不在妈妈身边,祝妈妈早日康复,我爱你,妈妈。 7/10/2008 internet我之前认为学业和工作是对我很重要的事情,今天突然觉得还有很多我忽略的事情,在我生活中扮演着她重要的角色,生命的轨迹就是这样改变的。我试着不让自己迷失方向,我希望能够被理解。 7/1/2008 乱七八糟的课堂笔记:1. Black sports: you don’t know what you don’t know. who to be? Group of people? Be yourself? Authentic. Transformation. Possibility. Persuade is a story you choose. Enroll able. Why. What will happen if histories disappear? 2. are you enroll able? Acknowledge. Rather than understanding, creative a new idea. Stronger ordinary. Ordinary people transform the word. What life can I mean really? What exactly life can I make? 3. put past in past. What can I possibility creative. Talking won’t change game itself. Talk the player is intended for your judgment. Face the risk, don’t avoid. Cardiogram is life. Stop disagree. Cost to me! – safe! Comfortable! New ad never been there before. 4. a area, what are you protecting, what are you hide? Independent. Open mind, communicate. Always good reasonL even no result. Life run by reasons or unreasonable. What people’s reasonable life. Avoid or reduce risk or expense. Justify. No reason to love or powerful. Excuse! What I upset and what happened. 5. what excuse do you have? formalization, being, invisible. What way / who am being. Strong / interpretation / meaning. “ What happened” vs “ Story / Interpretation/ Meaning” = “ Visions Circle” living in you story, more evidence, make you story!!! 6. visions circle. I made my own story and living my own life. None happened!!! Story / interpretation. What can I give to you? What can I offer? Who is the one your love? Interpretation is powerful / freedom / love. Someone broken. Doesn’t mean what you mean. Chose to you ditto. 7. what life/ potential/ hid/ been/ possible you want to be? 8. integrate. Is foundation for all. Work/ doesn’t work.. without integrate, impossible to love/ life. Life you want and love. Powerful relationship. Even anything is possible. 9. keep integrate. Been true to yourself. Possible be true. Doing what you said! Doing what you said! Doing what you said!... simple and immediate way. Every promise you said, you keep! present, sections, action. Assessment one person’s decision. 10. Racket = a fixed way of being + a persistent complain. Reaction to a real imagined threat. PAYOFF: right/ wrong, justify/ invalidate, self/ others, dominate/ avoid/ domination, win/lose. COST: love, affinity; vitality, well, being; satisfaction, fulfillment; self expression. CHANGE: more better difference; comparative, descriptive, story; complete; become; now past base. TRANSFORMATION: Possibility; declaration; simple; being; now future. OPEN: find our history, explain, appreciation. I love you. Thank you very much. 11. identity: who you are for yourself at the level of person or personality. The identity equals a set of strong suits: a fixed way of being that you really on to produce results and make it in life. A fixed way of being: results from a decision made in the past that tell you how to be in the future. I am on my own, I don’t belong, something is wrong here, a failure to be enough. 12. full accept, won’t be reaction. Accept is hard, release is easy, don’t use energy, open my hand and hart. Change/ no change. Transformation is the genesis of a new realm of possibility. You will bring forth the presence of new realm of possibility for yourself and your life. Inside this new realm of possibility. The constraints the past imposes on your view of life disappear a new view of life emerges. New possibilities for being call your powerfully into being. New openings for action call you powerfully into action. The expense of being a live transformation. 13. Donkey vs Carroll. Something happened, means that. Something happened, means that. Something happened, means that…. 14. life is nothing/ empty/ meanless, so life is everything. I can do anything / anything is possible. Past = Gone. Future = Not here. What do you have? NOW. NOW. NOW. If you don’t like this NOW, next NOW coming. People is meaning making machine. When you recognize you are a meaning making machine, you are not since machine don’t know their a machine. 15. integrity = power. Declaim integrity. Declaim yourself. No integrity, no power. The one you integrity declaim is you. Choose: to select freely after consideration. Decision: to select based on consideration. No reason , no excuse, its your choice. 16. give it away now. Past / future. 17. Seven: one, integrity: do what I say by when I say I will do it. Two, being racket free: give up being right. Three, being powerful: being straight in I communication and take what I get. Four, being courageous: acknowledge I fare and then act. Five, being peaceful: give up the interpretation “there is something wrong here”. Six, being charismatic: give up “ in order to” and trying to get some where. Seven, being enrolling: share my new possibilities in such away that others are touched. Moved and inspirited by that possibility. 18. living what life I love. Living life powerfully, living lie I love. I believe something, but unless believe is nothing. Can see possibility, but can’t find evidence. Individual, relationship, family, group, organization, society, work/ community. Make sure everybody win advance. No one win. You are design by human being, design to love my life. Thing… how you think is thinking. Make some people or me really thinking. 19. make sure/ get everyone else win/get. You can doing even never done, interpreting about others. Deal with word, be coach able, trainable. Where you will stop. When I wake up in the morning, who am i. fear – o – meter, the central theme of my life is who I have become in that theme. 20. Story vs Happened. Personal Task: feelings, personal logic, past experience, through, believe, senses, intension, human… Unreal: story, happened, personal takes. Suffer! Listen children’s song: Old Macdonald had a farm. Suffer? Listen. All of thins, everything is made up a game, the action of create a game is same over there or here. = Made up. 21. little voiceL fare, make sure everyone else get that. Powerful. Run out racket. 22. Love = Acceptance. Not Looks Good. Realize my integrity. I am powerful, I am living the life I love, I choose powerful, I choose living the life I love. 23. two word in front of me. ONE: sad lonely, less confidence, bad habit, not integrate be nature, hard to change, emotion, not sure, pay off, pain, suffer, lazy, be not care, not intend, not improve, look good. TWO: happy, integrity, authentic, be care, love, possibility, enrolling, full filled, transformation, good communication, good English, good skill, be the best in the ever, new life, new game. Enrollment = nature. Background of relatedness, conversation of activities, conversation of possibilities. 24. if I know she/he will say NO, the conversation will be get them say No. you get is you give to other. Is that one way or one way by agreement, by visual of agreement. Who you are in the world, agreement for who you are, you are visual in that agreement. Interim Tests: Authentic, believable, plausible, normal, consistent, standard, reproducible, consensus, logical, agreement 25. Don’t live a reasonable life, living powerfully in your word! Who you really are, is being. Say what I want to say , is real. I can’t hide, its no where can go. Altimeter test: physically (nature), distance/location, time, form/show up, measurability (statistic), begin, middle, end, total agreement (only). Word < world = creative; Word > world = fit. 26. living powerfully, live the life I love, I stand, I choose, I love others and myself, I live my words, put my history is history, leave my future in future, I live and own now, being that. 27. who I am is the possibility of be authenticity, the act I am giving up is “later”. And that is who I am. 28. Seven: physical body, emotions/ meaning, relationships, time, work/ career/ mission, finance, celebrate/ contribute spiritual sense. |
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